Turbo Cider

Dear Dr. Dre,

MCA hologram?

Regards, Me.

(Source: vivelekernow)

“Drinking alcohol won’t solve your problems, but then again, milk isn’t much help either.” - Scottish people.

(Source: )

Mario Balotelli once dated both of the twins from the 1990s children’s TV show Fun House.
Mario Balotelli is the banker on the Italian version of Deal or No Deal.
Mario Balotelli is an honorary professor in Oriental Medicine at the University of Turin.
Mario Balotelli once turned down a lucrative deal with Dolmio because he felt it was ‘culturally insensitive’.
Mario Balotelli is invisible to all airport security scanners.
Mario Balotelli used to work on the photo counter at Tesco until he was framed for indecent exposure.
Mario Balotelli’s toilet is the only place in the northern hemisphere where the water flows clockwise.
Mario Balotelli still needs a Mario Balotelli sticker to complete his 2011 Panini album.
You know that rustling noise from in the bushes during the first season of Lost? Yep. Mario Balotelli.
Mario Balotelli has a tattoo of Peter Kay on his right thigh, done after seeing his stand-up show in 2008, which Mario described as ‘rip roaring’.
Mario Balotelli has unsuccessfully tried to get a pasta shape named after him. The ‘Balotelli’ is doughnut-shaped and filled with cream cheese.
Mario Balotelli enjoys novelty ties.
Mario Balotelli’s favourite video game character is Guile from Street Fighter.
Mario Balotelli understands the importance of dental hygiene.
Mario Balotelli is allergic to raspberry Pop Tarts.
Mario Balotelli knows the entire routine to Las Ketchup’s 2007 smash hit The Ketchup Song.
Mario Balotelli laughs in the face of danger. And clocks.
Mario Balotelli is worshiped as the god of fish by a tribe on the Pacific island of Tokelau.
In the summer of 2008, Mario Balotelli lived with Tibetan monks for a number of weeks. He still has them as penpals.
Mario Balotelli once signed up to an online dating site but quickly realised it wasn’t for him.

“This coffee plunges into the stomach…the mind is aroused, and ideas pour forth like the battalions of the Grand Army on the field of battle…. Memories charge at full gallop…the light cavalry of comparisons deploys itself magnificently; the artillery of logic hurry in with their train of ammunition; flashes of wit pop up like sharp-shooters.”

- Honore de Balzac.

Fuckin’ love coffee.

- Me.

(Source: )